I am a member of Venturing - a co-ed branch of the Boy Scouts of America. With my Venturing Crew we take part in a plethora of high adventure activities. One campsite we have visited a few times is called Tanakeeta. Tanakeeta has high and low cope courses. Low cope works on strengthening team-mentality. Groups learn to work together through a series of courses; some examples are helping each other climb up a wall, getting across a line of tire swings, and lining up on a log in order of birth date without talking (this is much harder than it sounds). High cope courses are geared towards challenging yourself instead of a group. High cope includes rope courses held above ground by what look like telephone poles. As I mentioned before, most people who do rope courses only rely on themselves. However, due to my fear of heights, each time I partake in a rope course, I depend on the support of fellow crew members - my best friends. The first time I did a rope course, I freaked out at the top and started hyperventilating. Sebastian, a guy I have been close friends with forever, climbed up after me to help me out. He even talked me through the last stretch by distracting me. The second time I did a rope course, my closest friend, Sofia, decided that the best thing to do would be to tell me that the tightrope I was walking across was breaking. Despite her unorthodox approach to encouragement, she was able to push me to walk across faster. I was able to finish and she likes to give herself credit. Although, the instructor did label her as the worst best friend ever.
This summer, I went on a road trip with my scouting crew. We drove through Florida, Georgia, South and North Carolina. We took many stops throughout the week, camping all along the way. One of our stops in South Carolina was the U.S. National Whitewater Center - I love rafting, that was a blast, I even did another rope course while there. Rope courses have gotten a little easier to handle the more I have forced myself to climb them. Later, in North Carolina, we went mountain climbing. Perhaps by this point I seem like a total masochist, but I really just try to push myself because I don't like being conquered by a little fear.
Throughout the day, I went back and forth in my mind trying to decide whether or not I was actually going to do this. I really didn't think I could. I didn't think I had the upper body strength or the guts to climb a real mountain. We took equipment from the Fox Mountain Guides office and drove to the area where we would begin our hike. I usually love hiking and I'm sure I would have enjoyed this hike very much if I didn't know what I had to do at the end of the trail. By the end of the hike we stood about 2,500 feet above ground, facing Looking Glass Rock. Some little boys from what seemed like a local cub scout den climbed nearby. Seeing little kids climb calmed my nerves a bit. If they could do it maybe I could too. We sat down, catching our breath from the hike.
We all strapped on our harnesses and climbing shoes. Our first climber prepared for the climb with his belay team. I set up as part of Sofia's belay team. I watched her climb, trying to take note of how she accomplished this. I wasn't mentally ready to climb quite yet so I let another girl from the crew to go ahead of me. Finally, after seeing two people defeat this part of the mountain, it was my turn. I told the guide, Megan, that I was nervous and very scared of heights. Megan encouraged me to try. I went to the starting point and got up on top of a rock. I looked up at the peak. I started realizing how high up I was and I convinced myself that I could feel the air thin. I started breathing harder and harder. I turned away from the group. My face felt hot. My eyes began to water. Watery eyes became tears. I wiped them away as Megan approached me. She told me that I could begin climbing. I couldn't figure out where to put my feet - or my hands for that matter. As I tried to ask for some tips, I began to freak out again. I tried not to but when I begin to cry I can't stop easily. It gets harder for me to breathe and talk. Megan asked me if I would feel better with her belaying me herself. I nodded. She tied herself up to my rope. I climbed a few steps up - clinging to the rock for what seemed like dear life. Megan offered to climb with me. We would be each other's belayers, balancing each other. I am truly grateful that she went up with me. She talked me through my steps and motivated me to continue.
The higher I got, the faster I was able to climb. At certain parts there seemed to be nowhere to put my hands or feet, certain parts were flat. At these parts you must trust your climbing shoes to stick to the rock like glue. In my head I saw my feet slipping and convinced myself it wouldn't work. Megan assured me it would. At some points during the climb I would glance down and instead of being terrified, I was sort of proud. I began to feel very tired towards the end of my climb. I asked Megan if we could go down, but she and I both knew that I didn't really mean it. I reached the top and finally saw the view that everyone had been talking about. It was breathtaking - partly because I was out of breath from hyperventilating so much. We leaned back and walked down the mountain together. Tears, sweat and dirt caked my face, but I was done. I finished. I never have to go through that again. Maybe one day I will decide to climb again, but not for a while. For now, I feel accomplished with myself. Now I have one less thing on my bucket list.
To anyone with a phobia: I urge you to try to conquer it. I am constantly trying to conquer mine and it is such a rush to do something that I am terrified of.
